Breaking News and the Emotions of working in Televsion

Sometimes working in televsion news can really get emotional. Take today for example. Last night right around 8PM we sent our reporter to scanner traffic involving shots fired and people down in Harrisburg. Today we found out that a father had stabbed his 13 year old son and then himself. What made it even worse was that the father had attempted to get medical help the week before and checked himself into a psychiatric unit only to be released. The bodies were found early this morning by the mother of the child.

I spent all day looking for the boys picture and finally found it on myspace. Seeing his face made the whole incident all the more real. He loved his dog Bandit, loved to run track and play the trumpet. He never even had a chance. I then found his mother on facebook and in order to confirm the boy was indeed the one who I had found..wrote her a message on facebook to see if she would respond.

I have not heard back from her and quite honestly I don't expect to. How hard to lose your entire family and then come home to a facebook message from some random reporter who could never know the extent of your pain. In news we provide a service--informing viewers of what is going on and tomorrow we will shift our focus onto the little boy. Who was Jared Stout? What was he like as a kid, a friend and a young dreamer? They say everyone has a time to go but, sometimes life seems so unjust and fair. As journalists we are at the forefront--telling the stories, seeing the lives devastated and the people that are affected.

It's a job I love daily for it's excitement yet, it's also a job that can weigh heavily on ones heart. Many journalists get out of the business, or turn to drinking to numb what we have to hear.

Jared, though I did not know you, I feel as though I did. The only thing we can do is attempt to bring your short life into the living rooms of people who didn't know you--and tell your story.

Notes from the Universe...

I sat next to a very interesting man on a recent trip back to Eugene from Los Angeles. We started off talking about the usual mundane things..but, eventually our topics got much deeper and we started talking about our mutual psychology background. I asked him if he had ever heard about the Law of Attraction ..he had not. I proceeded to give him an in-depth explanation about the law and how to apply it to his own life. (It's my favorite topic of the moment!) One person who has deeply impacted my life is author, Mike Dooley. His notes from the Universe inspire and enlighten me every single day. I highly recommend him to all my friends including my seat mate on the plane. They can change your life and they are completely FREE. Here are just a few that I have saved.

It's the "things" you love most, Natasha, the "things" that are dearest to you, that you often allow to define who you are.
Which explains the sometimes insufferable pain caused by their loss.
A wholly avoidable pain.
Ahhh... so hey, now you know.
The Universe


Be at peace, dear Natasha, rest easy, relax, coast and luxuriate to any degree that you can allow yourself, for the day will inevitably arrive when you'll understand all the "reasons" that now elude you, bless the darkness that now seems to separate you, and celebrate the ancient choices that once made you. Just as we do.
Trust me,
The Universe


Have you noticed, Natasha, that sadness in your life has never, ever, not even once, lasted?
It's impossible.
Whoohoooooo!
The Universe

Inner Light

You know what happens when you let go and let the Universe guide you? Pure magic. I have let go, completely surrendered and yet I have also realized that I alone am in charge of this destiny. Nobody else. I think, I have thought and those thoughts are already leading me to amazing things.

It's Christmastime but, that alone is not what is causing this magic in my heart. I think I finally "get it". I finally understand what the real key is to unlocking my happiness and it doesn't involve a single person on this earth. As soon as I started turning inward (and trust me, this has been literally a very recent event), all my dreams started coming to me. I feel happier than I have felt in a very long time. It's this belief I have that everything is somehow going to magically work out. This process was not an easy one and it's a never ending one. I do urge you today though to figure out what it is you are grateful for, what makes you smile and do those things NOW.

Trim people out of your life that bring you down. Anyone who doesn't support your dreams is not someone you should have around you. Only let people in who bring you light and support. I can guarantee you wont find many....in this world but, even if you have just one..it's better than having a million energy suckers.

My hope for everyone..is Peace...

Rejection is a Nudge in the RIGHT direction!

Rejection is a nudge in the right direction.

Have you ever thought about it that way? I know I never did. For a long time I took rejection as a sign that I wasn't good enough, pretty enough, worthy enough. I saw it as a reflection of my flaws instead of what it really was, a chance for me to move in the right direction! Perhaps I should be moving smoothly in the direction the Universe is trying to guide me and not resist so much. Over the past three months I have become my own scholar. Learning about myself has brought upon so much contentment and inner strength. I now know that I am shifting and being moved into different areas of my life through what the Universe thinks is best for me. I see signs everywhere and I listen to them with all of my heart. I talk often and openly about this to one of my greatest confidants and my heart is starting to shine again. I am starting to feel as though my life is meant to be incredible and day by day I am getting there. It's pure bliss.!
Listen to your signs...the Universe is speaking to you.!

On another note I had a wonderful time at an "Ugly Holiday Sweater party" this weekend...I didn't really have an ugly sweater but, I went anyways and had a blast being with friends and laughing and joking around. Happy Holidays everyone!

Full Circle

"You can either look at life like nothing is a miracle or that everything is a miracle"



Have you heard this saying before?. I have heard it many times throughout my life but it's never rung as true as it has these past couple of months. This morning another event happened which made me think of the saying.

I was waiting for my good friend and co-anchor Seth Wayne to meet me for lunch. Being the crazy punctuality to a point, person that I am, I was extremely early, more than 15 minutes. I twiddled my thumbs trying to figure out how to pass the time and figured I would clean out my car. I had a plastic bag in my front seat so I started throwing everything I could find in it. I went through my backseat and then started in on my glove box. As I threw everything inside, planning to sort through it later, I saw something shiny at the bottom of the box. I pulled it out and held it in my hand --reminicing.

It was a sparkly prism heart made of glass. It radiates a different color when it hits the light and it had done a wonderful job of it, as it hung from my rear view mirror for nearly a year.

Back then I was in Alaska and the rainbow that would spill across my passenger seat would make me smile. I remember driving along the roads heading towards Seward in the Alaska sunshine. A feeling of serene calm, a feeling of magic. I had my dream job, I was in the most beautiful place on earth and the beauty I felt inside and out was almost more than I could bear.

But there is more to the story of the simple prism heart.--much more.
It was given to me by someone who I had loved dearly and while the details are not important...the story and significance is. He had tied the heart to my rear view mirror and it had accompanied us through many adventures. Down to Seward, across Anchorage and beyond. The heart hung from the car as we walked in parks and alleyways, frequented restaurants, shared secrets and surprises. Always radiating light --a rainbow even when the relationship was fast becoming stormy.

And then it was over one day. My heart bruised, my world shattered and my faith in humanity gone. I never thought I would be able to recover. Nights were spent crying, days were spend mourning and I felt as though I would never love again. I ripped off the prism heart and dropped it in the glove box, slammed the door, the mere sight of it brought me so much pain. I was broken...or so I thought.

Over the next days and months and years, I slowly grew and built my world up again. It wasn't easy, I was more vulnerable than I had been in a long long time but, somehow I was able to love again and love deeply. My heart found a way to heal and I survived and became so much stronger from it.

As I held the prism in my hand I remembered how hurt and angry I had been that day several years ago. I never in a million years thought I would recover and the mere sight of the crystal would have overcome me with sadness but, now it was nothing but what it was. It held no power over me and neither does that relationship anymore. All the crying and tears and heartbreak and thoughts of "never finding love" again were gone. It was nothing but a distant positive memory. It gave me hope..that despite our struggles and times when you feel as though you will never get over someone or something--one day you will. One day you will wake up and the sun will be shining in your heart and you can forgive.

It's a testament to life that we can move through the ripples of pain and grief and become whole again.

A BOOK to make you smile and A MOVIE that will make you THINK

I want to tell you about two little nuggets that made me smile. One is a book and one is a movie --both can be very useful and inspiring, at least they were for me.



I checked out the book, "Happy for No Reason" by Marci Shimoff a couple of weeks ago. The book is a conglomeration of all different theories and ways one can be happy. Did you know researchers have found out that everyone has a set happy point that is determined by genetics? Scientists have found that everyone returns to that point eventually despite whatever situations they go through in life-even severe car crashes and paralyzing injuries. The only exception to this is the death of a spouse which can take longer to recover from. The book is more of a workbook with different ideas about happiness. I Loved it. Marci writes with clarity and purpose and she sprinkles stories throughout of people who have overcome challenges and found a way to be happy. I found it really put things in perspective for me and I Loved loved loved it!



Now onto the second one, yesterday I had two separate friends text me the same text within the span of one hour. They both told me to watch the movie "Eat Pray Love". I have not watched a movie by myself in nearly a year and a half but, I thought, why not? (sidenote** how strange is life sometimes? Why would two friends of mine text me at nearly the same time to tell me about a movie that has been out on video for nearly a month? Another mystery of the world that I wonder about)

I figured it was a sign and stopped at the redbox on the way home. What a wonderful uplifting movie it was. I laughed, I cried but, mostly I reflected. Julia Roberts ends her marriage and decides to go visit three separate countries in her quest to find herself. I think it would be wonderful to just pack a couple of bags and take off for awhile. The movie made me think about my own life and all the places I have lived and times I have been alone. I feel a calm inner strength knowing that I have done so many things and survived so many challenges by myself. Had I never moved to Eugene, I would have never gotten to the point of spirituality that I feel now. Everyday I learn more about happiness, self love and asking the Universe to guide me in what I want and need.

Signs are everywhere...what are yours?

Minnesota Pictures

Minnesota was beyond wonderful...here are a couple of pictures from my 31st birthday party! Here are my sister and I



Friends from High school and other times!

Minne SNOW tah

From home to back to home again. Sometimes I am not quite sure where home actually is. It feels so much like it when I am in Minnesota. The warmth, the family, the genuine urging to be completely and utterly myself. Then I leave and fly back to wherever I happen to be working and suddenly my emotions shift and I am back to being independent, alone, career minded and driven. Where is home? It's Minnesota--where all is familiar comfortable and in sync.

I am heading back to Eugene after a week in the snowy midwest. I got to spend my first birthday back in the place I love in five years. The week was incredible. Every single day was filled with joy and fun and probably most of all sheer comfort. Home cooked meals, hours upon hours on end of nothing to do but, relax, laughing and joking with my brother and sister...staying up till 2AM. I feel so blessed to have that little nook of love in the world. A place I can be completely and utterly me and never have to worry about love not being reciprocated...bliss.

Friends I have not seen in months came for my party. My good friend from Alaska was there along with my best friend Pam who knows more about me than I know myself sometimes. Old college friends and two very dear friends from high school. Also, aunties who pretty much raised me since I was a child...yes, I am indeed blessed. On the night of my birthday the snow started around 4PM and did not want to let up. We ended up with 8 total inches...cars covered and roads packed full of ice. It was a winter wonderland that I welcomed in my 31st year of life!

I will post pictures soon! I have a three hour layover in Seattle..but, it was a week I will not soon forget. Now as I sit here flying further and further away from everyone who loves me...I wonder..just when I will get the chance to come back. I hope it's soon!